It’s the holiday season, and Christmas music is utterly inescapable. Look, I love Mariah Carey and Wham! As much as the next guy. But at some point, you get really tired of hearing the same handful of Christmas songs over and over again. So here are 10 suggestions to add to your holiday playlist that are hopefully a little less obvious.
There’s a long history of downer Christmas songs, from Dolly Parton’s “Hard Candy Christmas” to The Pogues’ “Fairytale of New York.” But there is no holiday song more guaranteed to bring the party down than “Christmas Card from a Hooker in Minneapolis”. The reveal at the end is the sort of thing that will have everyone putting the gifts back under the tree because they’re too depressed to open anything.
I love the classic Bing Crosby and David Bowie version of this song, but I’ve heard it a bajillion times. Lindstrøm embraces the relentlessness of the marching drum pattern, teasing out the melody into a hypnotic slow burn that gradually builds into a spacey disco freakout. There are various edits of this track, from sub-five-minutes to the 20-minute one embedded above (which is probably the ideal version for your holiday playlist). However, I am partial to the full 42-minute rendition.
This is the calm comedown counterpoint to the Lindstrøm track above. All gently bouncing meditative synths, sleighbells, and chill vibes. If all you want for Christmas is a zen-like trance state, then queue up this song.
There aren’t enough hardcore holiday songs if you ask me. The titular David of “David Christmas” ultimately went on to be the central character in Fucked Up’s breakthrough rock opera David Comes to Life. “David Christmas” has sleighbells, references to the Grinch, and the first Noel. It’s the rare Christmas song that will have you trying to start a circle pit around the tree.
There are a weird number of Christmas songs about infidelity. (See Clarence Carter’s “Back Door Santa” and, at least from the child’s perspective, “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus.”) But They Might Be Giants’ “Santa’s Bear” is a lesser-known one that pairs the duo’s trademark irreverence with a tale of a woman flaunting her extramarital affair in her husband’s face. Oh, and her sidepiece is dressed as Santa.
I’m just gonna say it — American holiday folklore is boring. Germany and central Europe have Krampus, the Welsh have Mari Lwyd, and Iceland has Jólakötturinn, or the Yule Cat. Jólakötturinn is an enormous feline that stalks the countryside, eating people who don’t receive new clothes for Christmas. Apparently, it’s supposed to encourage hard work and preparedness. In 1988, Iceland’s finest export, Björk, recorded a song about this creature that includes such festive lines as: Slowcore pioneers Low released an entire Christmas album in 1999, appropriately titled Christmas. “Just Like Christmas” is probably the most approachable song on the record, and it moves along at a faster clip than much of the band’s material. It still showcases the band’s ear for delicate melodies and the late Mimi Parker’s intimate vocals, though, before fading out as drippy avalanches of drums crash around her.
A delightful song about telling someone to loosen up and have some fun.
Also, just casually referring to Santa Claus as “Sandy” is perfection.
A modern entry in the Christmas soul pantheon that can stand toe-to-toe with James Brown’s “Santa Claus Go Straight To The Ghetto.” “Ain’t No Chimneys in the Projects” has groove to spare, killer strings, and one of the best horn sections in the business. It’s a pretty short song about how the magic of Christmas is provided by hardworking parents, not some jolly weirdo in a red suit.
We’ve all had disappointing holidays when we didn’t get the gifts we wanted. 100 Gecs embrace the fantasy of exacting revenge on Santa and taking what you want in this goofy hyperpoppunk song. It’s an absolute blast with a chant-along “la-la-la” post-chorus. I might not play this one for your ungrateful kids, though.
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