‘Mujhe sabne bola tha duniya se alag ho jao; Now, after 5 years…’: Aspirant opens up about experience of preparing for competitive exams; experts weigh in

Every year, about 12 to 15 lakh candidates in India apply for the Civil Services Examination (CSE), but only a handful, depending on the number of vacancies that year, make the list. Rightly touted as one of the toughest exams in India, it calls for dedicated study, sleepless nights, and more. One such aspirant, Tejaswini, took to X and shared her story of quitting after dedicating five years of her life to preparation.

“Mereko sabne bola tha UPC ki preparation karni hai to duniya se alag ho jao, isolate ho jao. Friends ko chorhdo, bahar jana chorh do, ghumna chorh do and maine kiya bhi tha bahut time tak kiya tha until it actually got to me aur mereko therapy me bahut zyada effort karna pada khud ko normal karne k liye. Now, after 5 years of preparation, mereko corporate me ghusna hai. I have no skillset, no contacts. I have nothing” (Everyone suggested that I isolate myself and stop going out. I followed the advice until it got to me. I had to put in a lot of work in therapy to feel normal. Now that I plan to enter the corporate world, I have nothing,), she said, adding how, despite multiple achievements and a decent education, she went blank while making the ‘first resume of her life.’

Each year, between 10 lakh (1 million) to 14 lakh (1.4 million) candidates apply to take the UPSC Civil Services Examination (image: file)

This isn’t just Tejaswini’s story. Her confession raises important concerns about the mental health of students preparing for competitive exams. To better understand this, we reached out to a few mental health experts. Here’s what they have to say.

Experts confirm that extended isolation during exam preparation can take a real toll on mental and emotional health. “When individuals withdraw from social connections, they lose important sources of emotional regulation, perspective, and support. Over time, this can lead to heightened anxiety, low mood, irritability, and even symptoms of depression,” notes Mehezabin Dordi, Clinical Psychologist at Sir HN Reliance Foundation Hospital, Mumbai

According to the psychologist, without social interaction, people often develop “tunnel vision,” in which self-worth becomes tied solely to performance.  Many begin to view their identity solely as “a student preparing for exams,” which erases other meaningful parts of who they are, such as being a friend, a family member, or someone with diverse talents.

“Many aspirants start questioning their abilities and lose touch with hobbies or relationships that once gave them joy. The pressure to meet family or social expectations can also increase feelings of guilt and stress. Over time, self-identity becomes centred around the exam and not clearing it may feel like a personal failure rather than just an academic one,” says Dr Divya Shree K R, Consultant – Psychiatry, Aster CMI Hospital, Bangalore.

As per the experts, it is surprisingly difficult. “Many individuals feel lost once the structure of daily studying and exams is gone,” notes Dordi, adding that aspirants may experience a sense of emptiness or even guilt when they try to relax. “This happens because their body and mind have been conditioned for constant pressure, which psychologists refer to as post-stress adjustment difficulty.”

Dr Shree affirms this and further explains that life outside the preparation bubble feels difficult and unfamiliar. “The sudden change from a highly structured, goal-oriented life to an open, uncertain world can also cause anxiety or confusion,” she notes.

Dodi also notes that reintegration can be socially challenging.  “Relationships might have drifted, and reconnecting can feel awkward. It takes time to rebuild comfort with leisure, spontaneity, and normal life rhythms.”

They say UPSC changes you – they never said it leaves nothing untouched. I gave my 20s to it. Locked myself away. Sacrificed birthdays, people, smiles. And when it finally ended… I didn’t even know who I was anymore. Somewhere between chasing UPSC and losing sleep, I lost myself… pic.twitter.com/uba1HK487r

— Lala_ki_beti (@05Tejaswini) November 4, 2025

Dordi explains that while in exams, success is clear-cut, study hard, perform well, and get results, in the workplace, success is more subjective — it depends on interpersonal skills, adaptability, and teamwork qualities that long exam preparation doesn’t always nurture. “This uncertainty often triggers self-doubt or impostor syndrome- the feeling that one doesn’t truly belong or isn’t good enough. The lack of clear feedback or structured validation can further amplify these doubts.”

“Understanding that success in such exams does not define one’s value, and focusing on overall growth and mental well-being, can help protect self-worth during the journey,” Dr Sree concludes.