Actor and musician Saba Azad recently spoke about her unique bond with her ex-partner, Imaad Shah, highlighting how their connection has evolved with time.
She described him as “the most gentle, calmest person I know. I’m very highly-strung. He balances me out. Everyone needs a bestie who brings a soothing energy in your life.” Imaad also shared his perspective, saying, “She’s very versatile, very in touch with her emotions; she’s in touch with the child inside her. She can be one of those cartoons… I see cute animals in her…”
When asked if their friendship changed after their breakup, Imaad explained, “It was very natural. I remember when we split up, a lot of our friends were saying that maybe we shouldn’t meet each other for a while. It felt more like an evolution to another stage rather than something that has ended. It was also long, and things happened in a slow-burn sort of way, and by the time the so-called romantic relationship ended, it didn’t feel like a lot of heartache.”
Saba echoed this sentiment, saying, “It transformed. It didn’t feel like a loss. Unless someone has really treated the other person very badly, when you have loved someone once, how do you stop loving them? Maybe your love transforms. Maybe it’s not romantic love, and it transforms into a beautiful friendship. In fact, it’s so much safer than a romantic relationship, because there is no fear of loss. Platonic friendships last so much longer, and with him, it’s truly like family.”
She added, “There is no way I’m not going to have this man in my life. I’m not going to copy and paste somebody else’s idea of what is correct for my life, and what is the norm, and what is acceptable or unacceptable. We were very clear that we’re going to be friends forever, and that we’re going to grow old together.” The two first met while auditioning for Delhi Belly, later bonded over theatre, and eventually formed a band that they continue to perform with today.
Sonal Khangarot, licensed rehabilitation counsellor and psychotherapist, The Answer Room, tells indianexpress.com, “As a psychologist, I believe staying friends with an ex depends greatly on the attachment style, emotional maturity, and past history shared. If the relationship ended with clarity, both individuals have processed their emotions, and healthy boundaries are respected, love can evolve into a form of genuine care”.
But when there are lingering feelings, dependency, or blurred boundaries, she says, trying to stay friends can reopen wounds instead of offering closure. The key is to be honest with yourself and the other person, ensuring the friendship nurtures growth rather than confusion.
Maintaining a safe, platonic friendship with an ex means treating it as a new relationship altogether rather than an extension of the old one. Psychologically, it requires clarity, emotional maturity, and the willingness to respect each other’s growth.
When boundaries are clear and past wounds are acknowledged, the bond can feel supportive instead of confusing. Khangarot suggests: – Set clear boundaries so there’s no overlap with past roles.
– Allow time to heal before redefining the relationship. – Communicate openly about expectations.
– Respect new relationships and their space. – Stay aware of triggers from the past.
– Keep the bond light — companionship, not dependency.