Kajol has lately been in the headlines for her “bold” statements on marriage and relationships. However, the Kuch Kuch Hota Hai star has never been shy about sharing her point of view. Just a few months after her marriage, the actor had said, “I am not a stereotypical wife and I won’t do stereotypical things because then we will have a stereotypical marriage and I don’t want that.”
That sentiment — of rejecting rigid gender roles and traditional expectations — resonated with many young couples who saw marriage as equal partnership, not a preset script.
However, nearly a decade later, Kajol’s perspective appeared to have shifted. In yet another interview with Chopra, Kajol described her own marriage as a “balance of traditional and modern roles,” reflecting both shared responsibilities and mutual adaptation.
And most recently, she took an even bolder stance on her talk show “Two Much with Kajol and Twinkle,” when she suggested that marriages should have an expiry date with a renewal option, saying, “What guarantees that you’ll marry the right person at the right time? If there’s an expiry date, no one has to suffer for too long.”
To understand this evolving arc — from rejecting stereotypes, to balancing roles, to questioning permanence — indianexpress.com spoke to Dr Naveen Kumar Dhagudu, senior consultant psychiatrist at Yashoda Hospitals, Hyderabad.
A little while ago, Kajol also said that partial deafness and selective amnesia are helpful in a marriage (Image: Indian Express Archive)
“When a newlywed says they don’t want to be a ‘stereotypical spouse,’ it often comes from a deep need to protect their individuality,” Dr Dhagudu explains. “Early marriage can feel like stepping into a role written by society, and many people resist that setup because they want their relationship to feel authentic, equal, and uniquely theirs.”
This rejection isn’t necessarily anti-tradition; it’s more about self-expression. “It’s less about rejecting tradition outright and more about guarding one’s sense of self as they begin a shared life,” he says.
Dr Dhagudu says the idea of an ideal marriage rarely stays the same. In the early years, couples often imagine romance, freedom, and equality. They hope for shared goals without the weight of societal scripts.
“But as years pass, reality brings responsibilities — work, children, finances — and the dream shifts into balance and compromise,” he says.
“Later in life, marriage is often seen less as passion and more as companionship, stability, and emotional support.” Psychologically, it’s a journey from idealism to realism to acceptance.
This may explain why Kajol, who began with a clear rejection of stereotypes, later spoke of balance — a recognition that traditional and modern roles can coexist and be negotiated between partners.
Kajol and Ajay Devgn got married on 24 February, 1999 (Image: Facebook/Ajay Devgn)
Kajol’s expiry-date idea — that marriages might be renewed rather than assumed forever — surprised many. But Dr Dhagudu sees it as part of the evolution of expectations.
“Someone who starts their marriage rejecting stereotypes, later accepts a mix of traditional and modern roles, and eventually wonders if marriage should have an expiry date is showing a shift in thinking,” he says. “In the beginning, this reflects optimism and independence. Over time, it shows maturity and adaptation. But when the idea of permanence is questioned, it often points to fatigue or disappointment.”
He adds that this shift is not simply disillusionment: it’s a blend of growth and weariness, revealing that ideals change, and expectations can become heavy with time.
How can couples avoid rigid roles without conflict?
For couples who want to avoid rigid marital roles, Dr Dhagudu recommends building a partnership based on fairness, flexibility, and communication. “The healthiest way is not to fight tradition constantly,” he says, “but to create a rhythm that feels fair and flexible for both partners.”
He suggests sharing responsibilities, respecting individuality, and maintaining open communication so that the relationship becomes less about rejecting stereotypes and more about living authentically together. “When responsibilities are shared, individuality is respected, and communication is open, the marriage becomes less about rejecting stereotypes and more about living authentically together,” he says.
This balanced approach, he believes, eases pressure and deepens connection — a far more sustainable path than extremes, whether traditional or entirely modern.
DISCLAIMER: This article is based on information from the public domain and/or the experts we spoke to.