Loneliness isn't a disease but rather a risk factor, contributing towards several long-term health conditions. Growing like a silent pandemic, one would think the holiday season is the best time to beat loneliness. Turns out, it can worsen those who are struggling with loneliness. It is what we define as holiday loneliness.
In a chat with Livemint, Raksha Rajesh, Clinical Psychologist at Samarpan Health, shared that holiday loneliness isn't limited to the newer generation. “Loneliness during holidays has been far more common than people realise and talk about. It isn’t specific to Gen Z, it is across all age groups; adolescents, young adults, working professionals, parents, older adults and even people who appear socially well connected,” she said.
Holidays often come with heightened expectations, and when real life fails to match the idea of a perfect “celebration”, the emotional gap may be hard to ignore. Loneliness can stem from sadness due to loss, being away from home, strained relationships or a deeper sense of emotional disconnect, explained the expert.
She shared, “Loneliness shows up most strongly when people feel emotionally unseen, not simply when they are alone.”
“Loneliness has always existed; what has changed is the visibility. GenZ talks about it more openly, which makes it seem like it's a generational issue.”
However, Rajesh believes that loneliness isn't a product of modern life. She asserted that the strange feeling of being alone has become common, or rather visible, not because people are interacting “less”, but because the quality of these social connections and interactions has changed.
“Many people who are socially active rarely feel that their emotional needs are met," she said.
“Life today is more fragmented than before. Families live in different cities or countries, work schedules are demanding, and everyday routines leave very little room for unstructured connection and social banter. Relationships often get maintained through social media updates and messages rather than shared physical presence,” she added.
Social media also plays a part in raising expectations around relationships. The constant exposure to images of closeness, celebrations, vacations, social meet-ups and parties tends to intensify the feeling of being left out. If trends are considered, it is called ‘FOMO (fear of missing out).’
“Loneliness is less about being alone and more about living a life without meaningful connections and not having spaces where one can be fully themselves,” explained the psychologist.
On the other hand, loneliness during holidays is not the same as aloneness.
While one may decide not to have anyone around, either by choice or due to circumstances, feeling lonely is an emotional experience. Someone can be alone and content at the same time. On the other hand, loneliness comes from the absence of meaningful connections besides physical isolation.
In brief, someone can be around people and still feel lonely, especially at this time of year.
So, how can one deal with the holiday blues?
While loneliness in the holiday season doesn't always need to be “managed” or "solved", the key to better days lies in removing pressure.
"What helps more is changing the relationship they have with this feeling itself. This season carries a lot of emotional expectation. When people assume they should feel connected, grateful, happy, cheerful, it can quickly turn into quiet shame, the feeling that something is wrong with them for not experiencing the season the “right” way.
“One of the most helpful shifts is removing that pressure. Allowing the season to be quieter or emotionally neutral can reduce distress significantly,” she said.
However, forced socialisation can do more harm than good.
“Coping doesn’t mean staying busy or socialising constantly. In fact, forced interaction often worsens loneliness. What helps more is choosing fewer, meaningful interactions that feel genuine, even if they are brief or finding things to do by yourself, which makes you feel safe and comfortable,” added Rajesh.
Little things go a long way, such as creating one’s own ritual during holidays.
While trying to beat loneliness, one must also not interpret “alone time” as something wrong.
The psychologist emphasised that the goal is not to “stop feeling lonely”, but to get through the season without seeing loneliness as a personal failure.