‘It goes back to being that indifferent, detached person’: Ranbir Kapoor on growing distant from sister Riddhima Kapoor Sahni, and how parenthood reshaped his outlook

Riddhima Kapoor Sahni with brother Ranbir Kapoor (Source: Instagram/Riddhima Kapoor Sahni)

Family bonds can be deeply influenced by timing, circumstances, and individual personalities. Sometimes, even siblings who grow up under the same roof may find themselves emotionally distant due to life transitions, relocations, or personal tendencies.

Reflecting on this, actor Ranbir Kapoor, once in an interview with Zerodha founder Nikhil Kamath, shared how his relationship with his sister, Riddhima, evolved over the years. “My sister is two years elder to me. I love her, we shared a room till I was in the seventh grade. I was 13 and she was 15. She used to beat me up because she was bigger than me. She was chubby. But when I grew in size, I used to beat her. But then she left for her further education to London. By the time she came back, I went to New York. By the time I finished and came back, she got married. I missed out on the good years of bonding with her,” he said.

He admitted that distance and his own temperament made closeness difficult. “She’s married in Delhi, she has a beautiful 13-year-old, her name is Samara. I love my brother-in-law. Great, super guy. His name is Bharat. She’s happy, she’s in a good space. I’m happy for her, but I’m not as close to her as I’d like to be. It goes back to being that indifferent, detached person,” he explained.

Ranbir further reflected on his attachment style, saying, “Now that I have a daughter, it’s making me question that detachment and indifference. I feel like I’ve just been reborn. The 40 years I’d lived before her was another life.”

Gurleen Baruah, existential psychotherapist, tells indianexpress.com, “Closeness between siblings is never one-size-fits-all. Family systems, how parents foster rituals, and the culture within the household all play a role. Physical distance can make siblings drift as phone calls or video calls often only capture parts of someone’s life, not the everyday shades of who they are. Life stages also matter: one sibling studying abroad, another starting a family, or one focusing on work can create gaps. Personality differences add another layer. If one sibling is expressive and seeks regular connection while the other is more private or avoidant, the rhythm of closeness can feel uneven.”

“Absolutely,” notes Baruah, adding that attachment styles often live beneath awareness. They are not conscious “choices” but learned ways of protecting oneself. If someone grows up coping by pulling away, that same pattern can show up with siblings, friends, or partners. While attachment is not destiny, it can be reshaped with self-awareness and therapy. It explains why some adults stay distant even from people they care about.

Parenthood can be a turning point. Many people, when they hold their child, re-examine their own childhood. They may feel a desire to give their child what they didn’t receive, or to heal old wounds by doing things differently.

“This reflection can soften one’s perspective toward siblings or parents, recognising them as flawed humans who were also figuring things out. The risk is slipping into living vicariously through children, but at its best, parenting heightens self-awareness and brings a sense of responsibility that can ripple across all relationships, not just with the child,” concludes Baruah.