‘I couldn’t wake up in the morning…’: Shweta Bachchan Nanda on defying societal norms and redefining spending quality time with her kids

Shweta Bachchan Nanda with daughter Navya Naveli Nanda and son Agastya Nanda (Photo credit: Instagram/@shwetabachchan)

On her daughter Navya Naveli Nanda’s podcast, Shweta Bachchan Nanda opened up about the small, everyday moments that defined her early years of motherhood. Stressing that she was never a morning person, and the school-day routine often began with her children stopping by to give her a quick kiss before heading out, she said: “I couldn’t wake up in the morning. I am not a morning person. So you guys would come, give me a kiss, and I’d say bye, have a nice day.”

The afternoons, however, were when she stepped fully into the rhythm of being a hands-on parent. Shweta spoke about picking her children up from school and how those drives slowly became their little space for connection. With her son Agastya, she had a weekly tradition that still stands out in her memory. Every Friday, after picking him up from nursery school, they would stop at McDonald’s — a routine he looked forward to so much that he’d climb into the car and immediately say, “Okay, mama, happy meal.” For Shweta, it was never about the meal itself, but the comfort and consistency of a small ritual they shared week after week.

Taking a cue from Nanda’s confession, we reached out to Dr Pretty Duggar Gupta, Consultant – Psychiatrist, Aster Whitefield Bangalore.

When a mother can’t do the usual morning routine, how do small, personal rituals—like picking the kids up from school and grabbing a meal—help her create her version of quality time and closeness?

“When​‍​‌‍​‍‌​‍​‌‍​‍‌ a mother is not able to carry on with the usual morning routine, small personal rituals—which may be just going to the school to pick up the kids—do a lot more than just fill up the time. From a clinical perspective, rituals and predictable micro-interactions give an impression of emotional safety: they signal repeatedly and in a reliable way to a child that ‘you are important to me,’ even if the bigger routine is different,” notes Dr Gupta. She adds that the study of family rituals indicates that such repeated, significant acts increase closeness and the feeling of parental support; the factor that influences closeness most is the ritual’s consistency and the parent’s warm presence during it, rather than the ritual’s actual content. Simply put, a small deliberately chosen ritual can be the emotional thread that connects mother and child and keeps the day going.

Can spending a relaxed, fun time together later in the day actually help kids feel more connected than rushed goodbyes in the morning?

“Yes—spending relaxed, playful time later in the day can make children feel more connected than a hurried, perfunctory goodbye in the morning,” confirms Dr Gupta. Her claim is backed by science, with research showing that showing quality is far more important than quantity: “the times when parents are emotionally available, responsive and engaging, though very short, have the strongest positive effect on children’s social and emotional development.” A relaxed, undistracted interaction, as per Dr Gupta, allows for what we call “affective attunement”—the ability of a parent to tune in and match the child’s emotional state. This process helps in emotional co-regulation, a key developmental foundation that fosters resilience and emotional intelligence later in life.

Childhood picture of siblings Navya Naveli Nanda and Agastya Nanda (Image: Instagram/Shweta Nanda Bachchan)

How does choosing a parenting style that matches a mother’s real personality (like not being a morning person) teach children that love isn’t about following rules but about being present in ways that truly matter?

“When a mother parents in a way that aligns with her temperament, she models adaptive coping, showing children that self-awareness and self-care are integral parts of love.” From a psychiatric standpoint, this reduces parental burnout and helps maintain consistent emotional availability, which is “far more important than performing ‘ideal’ routines.”

What does it do for a child emotionally when their parent shows that bonding doesn’t have to look like everyone else’s routine—it can be special, unique, and built around moments that genuinely bring joy?

“On​‍​‌‍​‍‌​‍​‌‍​‍‌ the emotional level, a parent showing that bonding can be different, fun, and doesn’t have to follow a preset way, kids receive some priceless gifts.” One of these, according to Dr Gupta, is perceiving relationships as something creative and flexible, which therefore deepens the child’s trust in the relationship, self-esteem, and emotional regulation skills. “Moreover, family rituals and special moments of joy not only contribute to building the present but also become a foundation for the future: teens and young adults who declare that they have had a lot of family rituals often feel more supported by their parents and more socially ​‍​‌‍​‍‌​‍​‌‍​‍‌competent.” She further confirms that from a clinical perspective, this is very significant: children coming from families where genuine connection is the priority (even if it is different from the “norm”) are more likely to be “resilient, have fewer behavioral problems, and be able to establish strong ​‍​‌‍​‍‌​‍​‌‍​‍‌friendships.”

DISCLAIMER: This article is based on information from the public domain and/or the experts we spoke to.