Scientist Amanda Nguyen Says Blue Origin Spaceflight Was a “Dream Turned Into a Nightmare"

The 34-year-old admitted she "felt like collateral damage" amid the "onslaught" of "hostile impressions" she received amid breathless media coverage about the space mission.

"I did not leave Texas for a week, unable to get out of bed," she shared. "A month later, when a senior staff at Blue Origin called me, I had to hang up on him because I could not speak through my tears."

The founder of Rise went on to outline the myriad of ways in which the Blue Origin flight—which also included Lauren Sánchez Bezos, Aisha Bowe and Kerianne Flynn—had a positive impact on her work, including bringing attention to her breast cancer research.

"My goal of science as a tool for diplomacy was achieved," she explained. "There has been overwhelming good that has come out of this."

She also noted that she's beginning to feel better eight months after the ordeal began.

"I'm glad that the fog of grief has started to lift," Amanda wrote. "When the days have been bad, I have held on to every kind of interaction you've shown me. When Neil Armstrong stepped on the moon, bombs rained down on Vietnam. This year, when my boat refugee family looked at the sky, instead of bombs they saw the first Vietnamese woman in space. We came on boats, and now we're on spaceships."

After crediting her "survivor self" with helping her through the dark times, Amanda included a picture from her journal dated Dec. 27 in which she simply wrote, "I'm happy to report the depression has lifted," before sharing an old photo of herself next to which it said, "For her..."

Keep reading for more on the Blue Origin flight...

Founded by Amazon's Jeff Bezos in 2000, Blue Origin is a private space company headquartered in Kent, Washington.

According to its website, the organization aims to leverage space's resources to benefit Earth as well as expand humanity's presence in space through increased transportation and the creation of living and working destinations in the low Earth orbit.

Blue Origin says it's working to achieve these goals by building reusable rockets and engines to reduce the cost of space travel, make space travel more accessible to civilians and drive sustainability.

"Our vision is millions of people living and working in space," Bezos said during a talk at the 2016 Pathfinder Awards. "We want to reduce the cost of getting into space dramatically by focusing on reusability."

So how much does it cost to book a seat on a Blue Origin flight? While the company doesn't list its prices on its website, it does note a $150,000 deposit is required.

Named after astronaut Alan Shepard—who made history when he became the first American to travel to space in 1961—New Shepard is what Blue Origin describes as a "fully reusable, suborbital rocket system built for human flight."

Six people can sit in New Shepard's pressurized crew capsule. But don't look for a pilot seat. Because as Blue Origin's website notes, "The vehicle is fully autonomous—there are no pilots."New Shepard first launched in 2015 as part of a flight test program that consisted of 16 successful tests, which were completed in 2021.

In July of that year, Bezos and his brother Mark took part in New Shepard's first human flight along with an auction winner that secured a seat for a whopping $28 million. William Shatner and Michael Strahan were also among the travelers to board the vehicle later that year (though they were on separate missions).

The upcoming voyage will mark New Shepard's 31st mission (hence the name NS-31) and its 11th human flight.

New Shepard's NS-31 mission is aiming for liftoff from Blue Origin's Launch Site One—located among the Guadalupe Mountain range in the West Texas desert—April 14, with the company's website noting the launch window opens at 8:30 a.m. CDT.

"New Shepard astronauts ascend toward space at more than three times the speed of sound," Blue Origin's website states. "They pass the Kármán line, the internationally recognized boundary of space 62 miles (100 km) above Earth, before unbuckling to float weightless and gaze at our planet. The crew returns gently under parachutes."

In terms of timing, the company notes the entire trip should take about 11 minutes.

The crew for mission NS-31 consists of singer Katy Perry, CBS Mornings host Gayle King, film producer Kerianne Flynn, STEMBoard founder and former NASA rocket scientist Aisha Bowe, bioastronautics research scientist and activist Amanda Nguyen, and former TV anchor Lauren Sánchez (who is engaged to Bezos). In fact, this is the first all-female spaceflight crew since 1963, when the Soviet Union's Valentina Tereshkova went on a solo mission and became the first woman to travel to space.

Nguyen is making history as the first Vietnamese woman to travel to space, and Bowe is entering the history books as the first person of Bahamian heritage to go where few have gone before.

Each member of the crew has her own reasons for being part of this mission.

In a recent cover story for ELLE, many of the women expressed their desire to inspire future generations. For Perry, this includes reminding Daisy, the daughter she shares with fiancé Orlando Bloom, to "never have limits on her dreams and show her that any type of person can reach their dreams—no matter your background, your ethnicity, your economic situation, or your education level."

As for King, who has been honest about her nerves, she told the magazine she hopes to encourage people to step outside their comfort zones.

"Once I do it," she added, "then the doors will open for so many other people who thought, 'Okay, I was one of those reluctant people, but now I’m here and I am really, really excited to go.'"

And Nguyen noted that, for her, it's getting the chance to fulfill a "dream deferred."

"I worked at NASA, I studied the stars—astrophysics at Harvard and MIT—but life got in the way," she told the publication. "Gender-based violence is a big reason why so many women in STEM don’t continue on with their training, and I was one of those women. After I was sexually assaulted, I traded my telescope to fight for my rights as a sexual assault survivor. I drafted the Sexual Assault Survivors’ Bill of Rights, passed it in Congress and at the United Nations. And then, after 10 years, I was like, 'I want to honor the person that I was before I was hurt.'"

According to Good Morning America, all crew members will also head to the launch site days before the mission for training sessions, which will include getting fitted in their flight suits, becoming familiar with the capsule, learning how to communicate with ground control and going over safety protocols.

However, some members of the crew did their own preparations ahead of the mission.

"I’ve been training for this in some way or another for the last year, but recently I turned up the intensity," Bowe told ELLE weeks before the launch. "I just completed a NASTAR simulation, where I had the opportunity to actually experience what I can expect to encounter on the flight. For me, the physical preparation is really important. I want to have my body know what it feels like to go up. We’ve got a fighter jet flight booked, and I’m really excited about that."

Flynn also said she did "several zero-gravity simulation flights."

"They carve out a Boeing 747 and fly the plane in a parabolic pattern, so when the plane descends, everyone floats up," she added. "That was to get used to the feeling of weightlessness. So I think I’m going to have some fun with that when we’re up. I also did the NASTAR training in Philadelphia and experienced up to five Gs of pressure."

King told ELLE she's bringing some photos while Sánchez shared she's carrying a stuffed animal of the character Flynn from her children's book The Fly Who Flew to Space.

As for Bowe, she's packing a historic object.

"Nancy Conrad, who is the wife of Pete Conrad, the third man to walk on the moon, is a mentor and inspiration to me," she noted to the magazine. "She said, 'Your journey parallels Pete's in so many ways, and so I want you to carry this flag.' And thanks to the Museum of Flight in Seattle, I actually have the Apollo 12 flag, and that’s going to fly with me."

Bowe added she's also bringing plant samples from Winston-Salem State University's Astrobotany Lab as well as conch chowder that's been dehydrated for the mission as a nod to The Bahamas.

Nguyen is packing personal items as well.

"My mother’s shells from the island she’s a refugee from," she told ELLE, "and then the other thing is a promise that I made to myself [after my assault]. After I left the hospital, I wrote down, 'Never ever give up,' and I taped it to my laptop. I looked at it every day when I was graduating and when I was fighting for my rights—and I will be looking at it for the flight."

According to her Instagram, Nguyen is also bringing the pen former president Barack Obama used to sign the Sexual Assault Survivors' Act, the Nguyen dynasty coin and Freetown cotton tree seeds.

Some stars have sent uplifting words to the crew—with King getting a send-off video from CBS Mornings featuring Tom Hanks, Megan Rapinoe, Bill Nye, Drew Barrymore and more.

"Best of luck," the Charlie's Angels actress said, "and I can't wait to pick your brain as soon as you get home."

"What are they doing? Like why?" she said on Today with Jenna & Friends April 3. "I know this is probably not the cool thing to say, but there are so many other things that are so important in the world right now."

The X-Men: Apocalypse actress then brought up the topic of cost.

"I know this is probably obnoxious," she continued, "but like it’s so much money to go to space, and there’s a lot of people who can’t even afford eggs."

And Olivia questioned what the mission was achieving.

"What’s the point?" she added. "Is it historic that you guys are going on a ride? I think it’s a bit gluttonous."

King also understands the criticism surrounding billionaire Bezos and the stance some have that this mission is just an ad for him and Blue Origin.