‘Ek aad thappad kha lete hain…Isme kaunsi badi baat hai’: When Salman Khan said he never had a problem being beaten up while growing up

Which parenting style is best has always been a topic of discussion. Some root for gentle parenting, some for FAFO (“F*** Around and Find Out), and others are still holding on to the classic desi style. In an old interview with film critic Anupama Chopra, Salman Khan also shared his two cents on the matter. Recalling his childhood, the Dabangg actor candidly shared, “Yeh choti-moti naughty cheezein jo bachpan main hua karti hai… ek-aad thappad kha letey hain, ek-aad punch-wunch kha letey hain father se. Iss mein kaunsi badi baat hai?” (All these big-small, naughty incidents that happen in childhood and that happen even now, I get a slap or two from my father. What’s the big deal?)

Adding that while his sister believes children should never be slapped, Salman reiterated he never had a problem with it. “Yeh jo hota hai ki bachcho ko hath nahin lagan chahiye, (the ideology of never raising a hand on the kids), like my sister believes that you can’t thappad maro (slap) the children. I never had a problem getting beaten up when I was growing up!” When asked if it still happens, Salman replied with a laugh: “Yes… sometimes.”

Curious, we reached out to S Giriprasad, a Psychologist at Aster Whitefield Hospital, to understand more about how occasional slaps or punches from one’s father during childhood affect a son in the short and long term.

Salman is the eldest son of iconic screenwriter Salim Khan and his first wife, Salma (Image: Facebook/Salman Khan)

Explaining the impact of such experiences, the psychologist says, “Although it can be expressed under the heading of ‘discipline,’ any kind of physical punishment from the parental figure has been perceived by the child as a threat from the very person who is meant to represent security and safety.” For a growing child, especially a son, this creates emotional confusion. “To the child who is male, it is confusing to receive feelings of both love and fear from the parental figure,” the expert explains.

Over time, this confusion doesn’t disappear—it adapts. “The overall effect that has been observed to occur has been the translation of the bodily sense of authority to meaning,” the psychologist notes, adding that this can result in “increased stress-response, trust problems, and lack of emotive expression.”

When an adult later says they “never minded” being hit, as Salman does, psychology doesn’t necessarily see that as proof of harmlessness. “When this happens with adults, it could be a possible presentation of numbing or protective rationalisation,” the psychologist explains. “The child would not be able to afford to think that their caregiver is dangerous; therefore, the brain needs to modify it into the idea that it is a normal occurrence.” In other words, reframing pain as “normal” can be a survival response rather than genuine acceptance.

The long-term effects can vary, but they are significant. “Physical punishment will be part of a potential change in how one might see a conflict or a display of power,” the expert says. This can lead some individuals to believe that force is a valid way to assert authority, while others go the opposite way. “A few might be conflict avoiders,” developing fear around confrontation or struggling with self-esteem. Common long-term outcomes include “anxiety, irritability, unavailability, anger issues, or intimacy issues.”

When such behaviour continues into adulthood, psychology draws a firm line. “No. Physical violence shown by the adult relatives is not an example of discipline but is, in fact, abuse,” the psychologist states clearly. “Slapping and punching in adulthood is the expression of undischarged struggles for power.”

While Salman Khan’s comments reflect a generational mindset many relate to, psychology reminds us that what feels “normal” doesn’t always mean it was harmless—and that understanding these patterns is essential to breaking them.

DISCLAIMER: This article is based on information from the public domain and/or the experts we spoke to.