Amid a crowd of self-help books, entrepreneur and content creator Ankur Warikoo has carved out a space that is all his own. While many authors tend to focus a little too heavily on schools of thought (Ryan Holiday and stoicism) and others OD (overdose) on research (Daniel Kahenmann), Warikoo sticks to keeping things simple. His books are short, very easy to read, and most importantly, very easy to understand.
Warikoo shot to book fame with the ‘Epic’ series, beginning with Do Epic Shit in 2021, followed by the Get Epic Shit Done, Make Epic Money and Build an Epic Career. His latest book comes with no Epic in its title, but Winning People Without Losing Yourself is still classic Warikoo. It will be loved by fans and dismissed as lightweight by critics.
A simple, smooth read
TL;DR: His books are very similar to those of advertising legend Dave Trott’s in terms of design and layout.
A cornerstone of Warikoo’s books is their readability. His books are very similar to those of advertising legend Dave Trott’s in terms of design and layout. Instead of walls of text and large paragraphs, one gets sentences often arranged one below the other, with plenty of white space, and skilful highlighting.
One often can open them from anywhere, read a little, and then put the book down. And this is the case with Winning People Without Losing Yourself too. The book is slightly more than 300 pages long, but as there are not too many words packed into each page, one can easily read through it in a day. We would not recommend reading it that quickly, though.
This is a book “on boundaries, influence, and real-world people skills,” and, like all of them, works best when time is devoted to it. Warikoo’s tone, as always, is on the gentle side, and he avoids two of the biggest pitfalls of self-help: sounding like a know-it-all and “talking down” to the reader. The result is a book that is a smooth, uncluttered read.
The art of creating and maintaining relationships, and keeping your space. In its broadest sense, Winning People Without Losing Yourself, is about developing and managing human relationships. The book is divided into nine chapters, which cover different aspects of interactions and relationships, ranging from influence and boundaries to surviving in the digital age and taking care of yourself.
Ankur Warikoo shot to fame on the back of his ‘Epic’ series. (Express Photo/AI)
Warikoo flows through each chapter, often walking the reader through different scenarios before giving advice that some might call obvious, but which is nevertheless sensible, thanks to the manner in which it is presented.
Warikoo walks us through a number of communication and relationship issues. He hands out advice on how to handle conflicts (he warns against using WhatsApp because “the minute you start arguing on WhatsApp you’ve already lost the conversation), maintaining friendships (“friendship isn’t built on likes, it’s built on showing up) and loneliness (“loneliness isn’t about who’s around you. It’s about how connected you feel to yourself.”), and much more – there’s even a chapter on How to Deal with Drama, Gaslighting and Narcissism.
Our own favourite chapter was the one in which he busts relationship myths – there are 22 of them, from “It wasn’t me. It was them” to “I don’t need anyone,” and while one might not always agree with his conclusions (“time apart doesn’t weaken the relationship. It keeps the curiosity alive.” will not find too many takers), he presents them well, constantly stressing the need for patience, kindness and empathy, all while sounding like a friend rather than a saint. Many will love the succinct takeaways that Warikoo delivers at the end of each section, often in very simple terms – things like “If you’re not breathing, you’re reacting. And when you’re reacting, you’re not thinking.”
We would have preferred a much more detailed chapter layout, though, with details about sub-headings covered, as each chapter runs to over thirty pages and as there are frequent overlaps, it is difficult to keep track of what is where. There is no index either, so finding a subject or passage after reading it once can be a tricky proposition.
For those seeking simple, friendly common sense
TL;DR: As always, critics of Warikoo’s work will dismiss his latest too, as being superficial and light, and not supported by detailed study or references.
As always, critics of Warikoo’s work will dismiss his latest too, as being superficial and light, and not supported by detailed study or references. And that is a valid point – a lot of what Warikoo says is basically his own take. This is not a book based on the philosophical thought of scholars and masters or packed with details from famous researches and studies. It is really one person’s perspective. But it is presented well and without the preening pedantry and pretension that marks the work of some others.
Winning People Without Losing Yourself is not a book for study or deep philosophical introspection. Serious thinkers should steer clear of it, and head to the likes of Daniel Kahneman and Ryan Holiday. If however, what you are seeking are a few friendly words of advice to understand people better, then this is an excellent option. What you are going to get is a lot of common sense – stuff that you might realise you already knew about, but which you had forgotten, because as Voltaire is believed to have stated ever so wryly, “common sense is not very common.” If life is a cappuccino, then this book is like the protein foam on top of it – not substantial, yet rather tasty, and most important of all, good for you.
Curated by James Chen
