Kajol on navigating life after tying the knot with Ajay Devgn (Source: Express archive photo)
Many people enter marriage without fully grasping the emotional or practical shifts that come with it. Actor Kajol, too, admits that she wasn’t fully prepared when she tied the knot with Ajay Devgn at just 24 years old.
“I really didn’t know what I was doing. I was just 24 years old when we got married so I was really young. And I had no idea what I was supposed to do, who I was supposed to be, kya karna hai, kya banna hai, voh sab pata hi nahi tha mujhe ki kaise baat karni hai (what I wanted to do, what I wanted to be, I did not know how to have a conversation about all these things),” she said in a recent interview with Nayandeep Rakshit.
She also shared her initial discomfort with traditional expectations around family dynamics. She said, “Aunty ko mummy bulana padega? Kyu? Par meri ek maa already hai. (I will have to address my mother-in-law as ‘mummy’? Why? But I already have a mother).”
Kajol praised her mother-in-law’s supportive attitude, recalling how she was never forced into doing things a certain way. “She never insisted that you will have to call me mummy since you are a daughter-in-law now. Never said that to me. She said when it happens, it will happen on its own, and it happened.”
Later, her mother-in-law also became her biggest support system when she wanted to return to work after having her daughter Nysa. “Toh tereko kaam karna hai toh tereko zarur kaam karna chahiye (So if you want to work, then you definitely should),” Kajol recalled being told.
Sonal Khangarot, licensed rehabilitation counsellor and psychotherapist, The Answer Room tells indianexpress.com, “It’s incredibly common to feel lost when you marry young — I see it often in therapy. At 24, you’re still becoming who you are, and suddenly you’re expected to be someone’s partner, anchor, maybe even their emotional home. What eases the transition is support that doesn’t push maturity before readiness — space to grow, communicate, and rediscover yourself within the relationship, not just as a part of it.”
These emotional boundaries are where many couples stumble silently. Khangarot states, “In Indian families, there’s often an unspoken script — calling your mother-in-law ‘mummy,’ adapting instantly, or showing respect in a certain way. But genuine connection can’t be forced. If you feel discomfort, it doesn’t mean you’re disrespectful — it means you’re human, adjusting.”
She suggests that couples need to talk openly about these expectations and support each other in setting boundaries that feel respectful and authentic. Families, too, must allow room for individuality rather than immediate conformity.
Kajol’s mother-in-law encouraged her to return to work after childbirth. Khangarot mentions, “Support from extended family can make all the difference for a new mother navigating the push-pull between caregiving and career. When a mother-in-law says, ‘Go back to work, I’ve got this,’ it chips away at the guilt so many women carry.”
In our culture, she says, where motherhood is often idealised as self-sacrifice, having a family who sees your ambition as valid is deeply empowering. It’s not just about practical help — it’s about emotional permission. That kind of support tells a new mother she doesn’t have to choose between being nurturing and being driven.
